Feeling Unmotivated and Very Cranky....
Well, in almost 8 days it will be a month since my last post where I declared that I needed to "get motivated" to lose weight...well, there is no good news to share because I have been feeling very unmotivated for awhile now. No continuous exercising and on the weekends - not really watching my food intake. Everytime I think about getting on the treadmill and watching what foods I am putting into my body, I just start to think...great just one more thing I have to mentally think about. Why, can't I just be the "lucky" one to have that fast metabolism and be "thin".
Other reasons for being "unmotivated":
#1 excuse - my job responsibilites have increased over the past month, so I feel very pressured to "perform well" and putting in more hours and taking work home. I recently got a great review with bonus, which was fanastic, but during that meeting I also asked for "stepping it up" in my career. For the past 10 years, I have been doing the same kind of work and now it is getting kind of boring. I do want more challenges and I know with that brings more responsibilities. Funny how things work out because if I was still pregnant, there would have been no way in hell I would have wanted to move forward in my career. If anything, I would have been looking to work from home or a reduction in hours.
#2 excuse - I thought I was getting my AF earlier this month around the 4th because I was so so PMSing and then nothing and now this past week I am feeling again so so PMSing that I am actually hoping and praying that AF shows up really soon...UGH. I am feeling so bloated, tired and irritable right now, I could spit! The things us women endure - sitting here in a professional navy blue pantsuit in my office but wishing I was sitting at home in my sweats...at least I could comfortably breathe, LOL.
#3 excuse - These BC "mini-pills" I am taking are indeed causing me to feel more hungry than usual. I read that this is a "lovely" side effect of them...oh joy. So, I have been thinking...do I just endure this or do I go through trying another kind of BC or do I just go off them damn things all together...I seriously don't know what to do. I guess a talk with my doc is in order when I go for my appt coming up in a couple of weeks.
#4 excuse - I just plain don't want to...I want to be happier and enjoy life and not worry about my weight and how I look in my clothes all the time. For majority of my life, this is how it has been and now in my early 40's, I am just getting so tried of "trying to fix" myself consistently. I have a wonderful husband who loves me for me, but I just can't get it through my head that I need to love me for me as well. I just can't get over the feeling I have failed - in motherhood and being that "all together" person in my personal life.
Lastly, I didn't get my AF at all the month of June...where it went, I have no clue, but I am not worried about being pregnant, because I did test recently and it is NEGATIVE. This seems to be a developing pattern with me because I was like this before I got pregnant the last time. So, maybe I am super-duper PMSing this month because of it. Either way, I am mentally exhausted trying to figure out my cycles!
So, that is what is going on with me lately. Feeling really good about my career path, but the rest of this just plain sucks right now.
P.S. E is still out of work, but attending night school for computer networking. Hoping something will break soon for him. I look at his face every morning while getting ready to go off to work and it breaks my heart that once again this has happened to him. All he wants is a break into an IT job that he can learn and grow and sustain us for our future. He has so much to give.
Other reasons for being "unmotivated":
#1 excuse - my job responsibilites have increased over the past month, so I feel very pressured to "perform well" and putting in more hours and taking work home. I recently got a great review with bonus, which was fanastic, but during that meeting I also asked for "stepping it up" in my career. For the past 10 years, I have been doing the same kind of work and now it is getting kind of boring. I do want more challenges and I know with that brings more responsibilities. Funny how things work out because if I was still pregnant, there would have been no way in hell I would have wanted to move forward in my career. If anything, I would have been looking to work from home or a reduction in hours.
#2 excuse - I thought I was getting my AF earlier this month around the 4th because I was so so PMSing and then nothing and now this past week I am feeling again so so PMSing that I am actually hoping and praying that AF shows up really soon...UGH. I am feeling so bloated, tired and irritable right now, I could spit! The things us women endure - sitting here in a professional navy blue pantsuit in my office but wishing I was sitting at home in my sweats...at least I could comfortably breathe, LOL.
#3 excuse - These BC "mini-pills" I am taking are indeed causing me to feel more hungry than usual. I read that this is a "lovely" side effect of them...oh joy. So, I have been thinking...do I just endure this or do I go through trying another kind of BC or do I just go off them damn things all together...I seriously don't know what to do. I guess a talk with my doc is in order when I go for my appt coming up in a couple of weeks.
#4 excuse - I just plain don't want to...I want to be happier and enjoy life and not worry about my weight and how I look in my clothes all the time. For majority of my life, this is how it has been and now in my early 40's, I am just getting so tried of "trying to fix" myself consistently. I have a wonderful husband who loves me for me, but I just can't get it through my head that I need to love me for me as well. I just can't get over the feeling I have failed - in motherhood and being that "all together" person in my personal life.
Lastly, I didn't get my AF at all the month of June...where it went, I have no clue, but I am not worried about being pregnant, because I did test recently and it is NEGATIVE. This seems to be a developing pattern with me because I was like this before I got pregnant the last time. So, maybe I am super-duper PMSing this month because of it. Either way, I am mentally exhausted trying to figure out my cycles!
So, that is what is going on with me lately. Feeling really good about my career path, but the rest of this just plain sucks right now.
P.S. E is still out of work, but attending night school for computer networking. Hoping something will break soon for him. I look at his face every morning while getting ready to go off to work and it breaks my heart that once again this has happened to him. All he wants is a break into an IT job that he can learn and grow and sustain us for our future. He has so much to give.
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