My Family Tree and Where We Are Headed
My niece, N, was here visiting us over this past weekend with her boyfriend from Montana. She is 38 years old, once married, no kids and has been living in Montana for the last 6/7 years now. It was a great visit, we went apple picking on Monday along with my other niece, M, and her boyfriend. I so enjoyed our time together. It was so nice to have 2 other couples along for our outing. It got me thinking about our family tree.
Both sets of my grandparents have been long gone for some time now. Both my mom and dad came from big families. My grandmother (my Mom's side) had 7 living children - I know of one that died in infancy - he was a twin of one of my uncles. I also was told my grandmother had miscarriages in between...how many I don't know. My other grandmother (my Dad's side) had 8 living children and not sure if she had any losses. I currently have only 2 living aunts on my Mom's side and my dad (will be 93 next month) and his sister (96 years old) on the other. All my aunts and uncles on both sides had only between 2-4 kids themselves. It has always amazed me how the "normal" size of a family from back in the early 1900's has changed over the years and for my immediate family I believe it is shrinking even more.
There are 4 children in my family. My sister is the oldest at 65, never married, no kids and has always lived in my parent's house. My two brothers, in their early 60's. One has been divorced and remarried with 4 kids and the other divorced with girl by blood and son by marriage. I have 3 nieces, one of who I talked about in a previous post (she lost her second child in her 7 month of pregnancy) and another niece who is going to be 21 years old in January besides "N". I have 3 nephews, one who is 16 years old, another 34 who has one child (who he doesn't see), never married, but now engaged and another who just turned 40 (not blood related) married with 2 kids.
I sometimes wonder if our family tree will continue to grow in the future? I know it is totally up to my two nephews to carry on the family name, but with the way things are going, I am seriously having my doubts. My nephew who has a child and doesn't see him, never married the mother and they have no contact now. This child didn't take his last name either. That was one of the BIG issues that started them down this path of no contact - so sad. He is now engaged to other woman who I have been around several times at family events, but I get no signs/talk of child(ren) in their future. My other nephew is only 16 at this point, so I can't really say for him, but I am not holding out alot of hope and I can't put my finger on why either.
For "N", we have had several conversations (not lately) in the past about her wanting children, but her boyfriend seems to be content with how their life is. There hasn't been any talk of marriage either. My other niece who is going to be 21, not attending college at the moment, but is working a full-time job. Is living with her boyfriend since this February. As a young adult in a grown-up relationship, I am not sure I see her with kid(s) down the road - again can't put my finger on it.
What might be making me come to these conclusions is that I am seeing them struggling and working so hard just to get by these days. With the job market being so bad and raises not being given, they are finding it tough to just make it as a couple - never mind thinking about a family. I also see in them a very strong sense of entitlement - where they aren't willing to give up anything. They feel they are deserving of it all and if they want it, they go out and buy it. There is no saving. Oh, those phones and electronic gadgets! (I am not into nor do I have the latest and greatest phone that is out there on the market - I don't text and hardly ever use my cell phone on a daily basis...so hard for me to understand the "need" to be so connected!)
It will be very interesting to see how this all plays out in the next couple of years, but I am alittle worried about the continuation of my family tree...will there be any babies in our family? It seems to be shrinking with each generation.
Both sets of my grandparents have been long gone for some time now. Both my mom and dad came from big families. My grandmother (my Mom's side) had 7 living children - I know of one that died in infancy - he was a twin of one of my uncles. I also was told my grandmother had miscarriages in between...how many I don't know. My other grandmother (my Dad's side) had 8 living children and not sure if she had any losses. I currently have only 2 living aunts on my Mom's side and my dad (will be 93 next month) and his sister (96 years old) on the other. All my aunts and uncles on both sides had only between 2-4 kids themselves. It has always amazed me how the "normal" size of a family from back in the early 1900's has changed over the years and for my immediate family I believe it is shrinking even more.
There are 4 children in my family. My sister is the oldest at 65, never married, no kids and has always lived in my parent's house. My two brothers, in their early 60's. One has been divorced and remarried with 4 kids and the other divorced with girl by blood and son by marriage. I have 3 nieces, one of who I talked about in a previous post (she lost her second child in her 7 month of pregnancy) and another niece who is going to be 21 years old in January besides "N". I have 3 nephews, one who is 16 years old, another 34 who has one child (who he doesn't see), never married, but now engaged and another who just turned 40 (not blood related) married with 2 kids.
I sometimes wonder if our family tree will continue to grow in the future? I know it is totally up to my two nephews to carry on the family name, but with the way things are going, I am seriously having my doubts. My nephew who has a child and doesn't see him, never married the mother and they have no contact now. This child didn't take his last name either. That was one of the BIG issues that started them down this path of no contact - so sad. He is now engaged to other woman who I have been around several times at family events, but I get no signs/talk of child(ren) in their future. My other nephew is only 16 at this point, so I can't really say for him, but I am not holding out alot of hope and I can't put my finger on why either.
For "N", we have had several conversations (not lately) in the past about her wanting children, but her boyfriend seems to be content with how their life is. There hasn't been any talk of marriage either. My other niece who is going to be 21, not attending college at the moment, but is working a full-time job. Is living with her boyfriend since this February. As a young adult in a grown-up relationship, I am not sure I see her with kid(s) down the road - again can't put my finger on it.
What might be making me come to these conclusions is that I am seeing them struggling and working so hard just to get by these days. With the job market being so bad and raises not being given, they are finding it tough to just make it as a couple - never mind thinking about a family. I also see in them a very strong sense of entitlement - where they aren't willing to give up anything. They feel they are deserving of it all and if they want it, they go out and buy it. There is no saving. Oh, those phones and electronic gadgets! (I am not into nor do I have the latest and greatest phone that is out there on the market - I don't text and hardly ever use my cell phone on a daily basis...so hard for me to understand the "need" to be so connected!)
It will be very interesting to see how this all plays out in the next couple of years, but I am alittle worried about the continuation of my family tree...will there be any babies in our family? It seems to be shrinking with each generation.
I don't know, but I've always looked at family trees, and felt a very strong disquiet that the two people at the top have produced so very many people at the bottom of the tree.
ReplyDeleteEqually, of course, I do feel a little sad that our branch (or little twig) of the family tree ends with my husband and I.
I'd give your nieces and nephews time.