Different Strokes for Different Folks....
Not sure if the "title" of this post is what I am looking to say, but here goes. I have had this way of feeling since my mid 20's back when I worked for at my first big corporation. I had single coworkers, married coworkers and then the married with child(ren) coworkers. Now in fairness you would think that everyone would be treated the same, right, but I have seen and felt this for the past 15 years of working that there is a difference. I started out myself as a "single" and back in my 20's and earlier 30's, I felt ok with that status, most of the time and then when I moved into the "married" category in my mid 30's, I was feeling pretty happy there as well. But I have never achieved the category of "married" with child(ren) (yet)...this makes me sad at times. Let me step back a bit to the "single" category, when I worked as an admin. assistant for a benefits consulting firm with over 300 people. I reported to 3 consultants at that time and worked with approx. 15 other admin. assistants on my floor. This job was very challenging and had a "seasonal" flow to it where we, as assistants, were expected to work long hours along with our consultants. I remember working till 1 a.m. at times. The workflow was set-up by way that if your consultant had a big project that required overtime, you needed to ask another assistant to help you out (always had to have 2 assistants for proofreading) or if you couldn't stay that evening, you needed to ask another assistant to stay for you and you would stay for her the next time. Well, I always felt since I was "single", what reason would I have that I couldn't stay, right? No husband or kids to go home too. The "married" or "married with kids" assistants always seemed to have a reason why they couldn't stay. So, majority of the time, I would stay when asked...boy, does grow old very quickly...UGH.
Then when I moved onto the "married" category in my mid-30's, I finally felt like I could say "no" to overtime because I had a husband to go home to and that felt really good after all the years of having to say "yes". But, even then, at some places, the "married" category didn't make a difference in that work arena...it was like "so what you are married and have a husband now", we all do and we do overtime because we don't have "kids". So, I begin to feel like I was falling backwards into that "single" category again.
Now I am at a workplace with a majority of women on staff, some with kids and some without. I still feel like I am backsliding and never really have achieved that "royal" status of "I have a good and solid excuse for not being able to work overtime or come in late or not at all today...my child(ren)". Also, now that laptops are available in most workplaces, there is this "I am working from home" status that is allowed, but only seems to be available to those higher level positions or on a case by case basis. In my current job, I am no longer an admin. assistant and have no direct responsibilities to someone...my job is more self-contained and I run my own ship, but majority of my work is done via a database system on our network. So, in order for me to "work from home" effectively I would need access to this database remotely, which for the past 2 years has been a "vague and not really discussed" issue in my dept. The funny part of the whole situation is that it isn't my boss that is opposed to this, it comes from HR. I have for the past 2 years done everything in my power so I won't need to approach the subject "work from home" - rearrange personal appts, stayed late, came in on a snow day, etc....but deep down inside this whole thing just rubs me the wrong way sometimes. I feel if I had a child...the whole subject would be much easier to talk about and justify. I have watched the women in my office with child(ren) work from home when their kids are sick, take off on a snow day (even when the office is open) when their kids are home from school, leave work early when their kids are sick at daycare, etc. It seems as long as the "kid" is involved, it is ok like it is an underlying fact that well what is an employer to do after all it is their employee's kid we are talking about here, right. But, what if I wanted to work from home due to snow...how is that "perceived"...I can bet NOT the same way.
So, with a pending snowstorm upon us here in the Northeast tomorrow, some of the above thoughts go through my mind. What is the expectation of a "married" with no child(ren) employee to her employer in these situations? Are there different strokes for different folks...I do believe so.
Then when I moved onto the "married" category in my mid-30's, I finally felt like I could say "no" to overtime because I had a husband to go home to and that felt really good after all the years of having to say "yes". But, even then, at some places, the "married" category didn't make a difference in that work arena...it was like "so what you are married and have a husband now", we all do and we do overtime because we don't have "kids". So, I begin to feel like I was falling backwards into that "single" category again.
Now I am at a workplace with a majority of women on staff, some with kids and some without. I still feel like I am backsliding and never really have achieved that "royal" status of "I have a good and solid excuse for not being able to work overtime or come in late or not at all today...my child(ren)". Also, now that laptops are available in most workplaces, there is this "I am working from home" status that is allowed, but only seems to be available to those higher level positions or on a case by case basis. In my current job, I am no longer an admin. assistant and have no direct responsibilities to someone...my job is more self-contained and I run my own ship, but majority of my work is done via a database system on our network. So, in order for me to "work from home" effectively I would need access to this database remotely, which for the past 2 years has been a "vague and not really discussed" issue in my dept. The funny part of the whole situation is that it isn't my boss that is opposed to this, it comes from HR. I have for the past 2 years done everything in my power so I won't need to approach the subject "work from home" - rearrange personal appts, stayed late, came in on a snow day, etc....but deep down inside this whole thing just rubs me the wrong way sometimes. I feel if I had a child...the whole subject would be much easier to talk about and justify. I have watched the women in my office with child(ren) work from home when their kids are sick, take off on a snow day (even when the office is open) when their kids are home from school, leave work early when their kids are sick at daycare, etc. It seems as long as the "kid" is involved, it is ok like it is an underlying fact that well what is an employer to do after all it is their employee's kid we are talking about here, right. But, what if I wanted to work from home due to snow...how is that "perceived"...I can bet NOT the same way.
So, with a pending snowstorm upon us here in the Northeast tomorrow, some of the above thoughts go through my mind. What is the expectation of a "married" with no child(ren) employee to her employer in these situations? Are there different strokes for different folks...I do believe so.
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