Follow-Up to My Appt w/RE
I have been waiting to post for the past week now about the above, because I just hadn't decided on how to write about this post.
I don't have the bloodwork results paperwork right in front of me, so I can't go into the detail of every test that was run, but 99% of them comeback in the normal range. I do not have PCOS or diabetes, but, the one thing that has changed since I had bloodwork done this past February is that my egg quantity/quality is deminishing as we speak mostly likely due to my age. The RE said, this is what she suspects was the reason for miscarriage in March (the quality), even though there wasn't enough tissue for the lab to test for an exact reason...UGH. So, RE put me on Premphase because I haven't had a period since May 24th! When I get my period, I am to call her so I can get a script to go get my FSH levels retested. I am not hoping for any kind of miracle at this point. She then started to talk about IVF and adoption as possible next steps.
Ever since I had my first miscarriage and started to hear the word IVF and what that meant, I knew in my heart that it wasn't something I was interested in pursuing. Now, after my second miscarriage and my mature age, I still feel the same way. I had a talk with E about his feelings and he doesn't feel that this is the road for us. He has a strong feeling against donor eggs. He knows how I feel about the whole process and totally gets all my fears. He knows how I get just being overwhelmed by stuff and to try to manage all the ups and downs of IVF with everything else would be very tough to deal with. Finally, the last sticky point is the financial piece. Our insurance doesn't cover women over 40 for inferilty treatments. We are currently living on one income. We have always had the motto of "if it happens then great, but not at the cost of us going broke". We need to remain a strong unit for each other and have a solid marriage. I have read stories of couples that go down the IVF road only to have lost each other in the process - I never ever want that for us. Though, if IVF is your chosen path, I wish you much success. At the end of my appt, RE said, "you need to know, that in your hearts, you did what is right for you."
So, this is where things stand as of this moment. I am sadden by this, but then I try to turn my thinking towards the positive stuff that came out of this - I am basically a healthy 43 year old woman (I was so worried about my health especially the PCOS). I have a good life with E - we love each other, we have food on our table, a place to live, a warm bed at night, and nice clothes on our backs...we have the basics (a foundation). This is what keeps me moving forward in a positive manner. Don't get me wrong I have and will have my days of this sucks and why me, but all in all what brings me back to my senses are the basics. Because to me, without the basics in place, we would be in an EVEN tougher situation with a million more problems/issues to deal with.
I don't have the bloodwork results paperwork right in front of me, so I can't go into the detail of every test that was run, but 99% of them comeback in the normal range. I do not have PCOS or diabetes, but, the one thing that has changed since I had bloodwork done this past February is that my egg quantity/quality is deminishing as we speak mostly likely due to my age. The RE said, this is what she suspects was the reason for miscarriage in March (the quality), even though there wasn't enough tissue for the lab to test for an exact reason...UGH. So, RE put me on Premphase because I haven't had a period since May 24th! When I get my period, I am to call her so I can get a script to go get my FSH levels retested. I am not hoping for any kind of miracle at this point. She then started to talk about IVF and adoption as possible next steps.
Ever since I had my first miscarriage and started to hear the word IVF and what that meant, I knew in my heart that it wasn't something I was interested in pursuing. Now, after my second miscarriage and my mature age, I still feel the same way. I had a talk with E about his feelings and he doesn't feel that this is the road for us. He has a strong feeling against donor eggs. He knows how I feel about the whole process and totally gets all my fears. He knows how I get just being overwhelmed by stuff and to try to manage all the ups and downs of IVF with everything else would be very tough to deal with. Finally, the last sticky point is the financial piece. Our insurance doesn't cover women over 40 for inferilty treatments. We are currently living on one income. We have always had the motto of "if it happens then great, but not at the cost of us going broke". We need to remain a strong unit for each other and have a solid marriage. I have read stories of couples that go down the IVF road only to have lost each other in the process - I never ever want that for us. Though, if IVF is your chosen path, I wish you much success. At the end of my appt, RE said, "you need to know, that in your hearts, you did what is right for you."
So, this is where things stand as of this moment. I am sadden by this, but then I try to turn my thinking towards the positive stuff that came out of this - I am basically a healthy 43 year old woman (I was so worried about my health especially the PCOS). I have a good life with E - we love each other, we have food on our table, a place to live, a warm bed at night, and nice clothes on our backs...we have the basics (a foundation). This is what keeps me moving forward in a positive manner. Don't get me wrong I have and will have my days of this sucks and why me, but all in all what brings me back to my senses are the basics. Because to me, without the basics in place, we would be in an EVEN tougher situation with a million more problems/issues to deal with.
Glad to hear you aren't suffering with PCOS on top of everything. You are right, there is some positive in this!
ReplyDeleteI can completely understand your reasons for not wanting to persue IVF.
ReplyDeleteI also can completely understand the "why me's" - I am struggling with those almost daily.
Thinking of you.
glad to hear you do not have PCOS - hopefully the meds that the RE started you on will encourage your menstrual cycle to kick start again -- you are doing great by staying positive - everything you said in the last paragraph - those are the blessings that many of us take for granted - just hang in there!
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