Saturday, March 27, 2010 - Day of My 2nd Miscarriage

I can't believe a year has passed from the date above.  With having such a busy week tending to my Thirty-One business and still searching for a different house to live in that I have to say I didn't even realize that the 27th was here and gone till last night.  Maybe it was God's way of protecting me from the hurt all over again or maybe it was always in the back of my mind, but I just choose to focus on what was happening in the present instead.  Whichever, I am thankful for not havin' a total meltdown this March 27th as I was driving home from work yesterday, because I am happy to report that I wasn't trying to drive through a flood of tears streaming down my face.  For the last 3 months, I would say I am so much better than I was for many many months last year after the miscarriage.  Maybe I am beginning to come to terms with the way God has chosen to play out my life as of late and am accepting the fact that we will be a childless couple (as you see I even change the title of my blog a week or so ago).  I am trying very hard this year to focus on finding things in my life that will provide me a sense of true happiness and contentment instead of focusing on the sadness of the miscarriages, the realization that my body refuses to carry a child to full term and turning 44 years old in another month...oh my!