Still Here....
Everyday that goes by, I say I am going to write a post and then my days get filled up with work stuff (both my full-time job and the part-time one)...UGH. I am doing ok and so looking forward to my solo vacation next Saturday out to Montana to see my two nieces for a week - so happy about this. I still have to book my limo to and from the airport (hopefully today on my lunch break).
AF arrived on Sunday, but as usually only lasted a day and was so so light (wearing Lightdays again). I just don't get it and my frustrating is building over it all. I really have to get in touch with my RE when I return from vacation and have a serious talk about this. When she ran my bloodwork last September - she didn't come out and say I was pre-menopausal, but did say that my ovarian reserve is depleting. She put me on the Premphase (in her words...to bring on my period because it had disappeared for 3 months) and I would say since being it, I have only had 2 good (normal flowing) periods which were when the 2 months after I started the Premphase. I also did some reading up on Premphase on the web and this is what it said: is used as hormone replacement in menopausal women who still have their uterus. This medicine helps to treat hot flashes and prevent osteoporosis (weak bones).
Ok, what the @#&^%?
I know during last summer when I didn't have my period for 3 months, I was experiencing hot flashes and boy, where they a big pain in the butt and I did mention that to her, so I understand that piece, but I need to ask her directly...am I starting menopause? Because if I am, then that would truly explain the light or none existent periods and is there other med out there that would work better for me or is this what it will be?
I also will explain to her that after being so depressed since the miscarriage and based on all my body's reactions since then and my upcoming 44th b-day, we are leaning towards "not trying to have a child". We are "finally" at the place of coming to terms with the hand that has been dealt to us and being "ok" with it.
This last miscarriage did a huge number on me and in turn has affect E and I relationship in the bedroom dept. I have to say since the miscarriage, we are lucky if we are intimate once to twice a month. It is so sad because it wasn't ever like this with us before. I blame a lot of it on myself and the very raw feelings I have over everything that has happened and now with finally starting to live again, I want this to change for us...I want the old "us" back. I don't want our lovemaking to have anything to do with the "what ifs of a child" anymore. I don't want the worry of it anymore, so maybe I need to ask for the BCP pills to help (if that is possible) to regulate my periods and also give me some piece of mind (security, shall we say) of the slightest possibility of becoming pregnant - I know in my heart that I would be so stressed out if it happened again - there wouldn't be much joy in it - as we all know, this is what infertility does and it sucks.
AF arrived on Sunday, but as usually only lasted a day and was so so light (wearing Lightdays again). I just don't get it and my frustrating is building over it all. I really have to get in touch with my RE when I return from vacation and have a serious talk about this. When she ran my bloodwork last September - she didn't come out and say I was pre-menopausal, but did say that my ovarian reserve is depleting. She put me on the Premphase (in her words...to bring on my period because it had disappeared for 3 months) and I would say since being it, I have only had 2 good (normal flowing) periods which were when the 2 months after I started the Premphase. I also did some reading up on Premphase on the web and this is what it said: is used as hormone replacement in menopausal women who still have their uterus. This medicine helps to treat hot flashes and prevent osteoporosis (weak bones).
Ok, what the @#&^%?
I know during last summer when I didn't have my period for 3 months, I was experiencing hot flashes and boy, where they a big pain in the butt and I did mention that to her, so I understand that piece, but I need to ask her directly...am I starting menopause? Because if I am, then that would truly explain the light or none existent periods and is there other med out there that would work better for me or is this what it will be?
I also will explain to her that after being so depressed since the miscarriage and based on all my body's reactions since then and my upcoming 44th b-day, we are leaning towards "not trying to have a child". We are "finally" at the place of coming to terms with the hand that has been dealt to us and being "ok" with it.
This last miscarriage did a huge number on me and in turn has affect E and I relationship in the bedroom dept. I have to say since the miscarriage, we are lucky if we are intimate once to twice a month. It is so sad because it wasn't ever like this with us before. I blame a lot of it on myself and the very raw feelings I have over everything that has happened and now with finally starting to live again, I want this to change for us...I want the old "us" back. I don't want our lovemaking to have anything to do with the "what ifs of a child" anymore. I don't want the worry of it anymore, so maybe I need to ask for the BCP pills to help (if that is possible) to regulate my periods and also give me some piece of mind (security, shall we say) of the slightest possibility of becoming pregnant - I know in my heart that I would be so stressed out if it happened again - there wouldn't be much joy in it - as we all know, this is what infertility does and it sucks.
(o)
ReplyDeleteMiscarriage ruins so many things... infertility only compounds the issue. I am enjoying my 3 month BCP break so much that I will actually turn it into a 4 month BCP break. I know, I know, the clock is ticking... but life has so much to offer when you are not TTC, and I had been missing it.
ReplyDelete